Bedtime Tears

Humble selfie by Mandy Sweigart-Quinn

Tears flow as I think about my mom taking me to the airport early tomorrow morning. I will miss my mom so much! I have so many memories coming to my mind like when I was little my mom read and quoted repeatedly the book Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. The line that keeps replaying over and over in my mind is:

I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my Mommy you’ll be.

As a kid, I hated that book! I thought it was the dumbest, worst book ever! Over time I have come to love and appreciate that book. I praise God for the love that my mom has for me. I praise God for the opportunity to love my mom and to be her daughter. (No worries, I can get really annoyed and irritated with my mom!) If I was ever forced to cry on demand, all I have to do is visualize the look on my mom’s face when I say something that verbally hurts her and that brings instant tears to my eyes.

I know that my mom hurts too because of our distance and that grieves my heart. I know that God loves my mom and that she has amazing friends. I pray that my mommy knows that no matter where I am, no matter what I am doing that I will love her, I am here for her and “as long as I’m living my mommy [she’ll] be.”

Since the beginning of 2020, there has been so much death, loss and grief all over the world. It is with a humble and sincere heart that I encourage you to tell and show your loved ones that they matter. Even if it is uncomfortable for you to show love and vulnerability to others, I implore you in Jesus’s Name to share yourself with them. We are NOT guaranteed tomorrow. I do not ever want anyone that I know to wonder if I loved them. I get this wrong a lot! I am thankful that God has mercy on me a sinner. I am thankful that even as I sit here typing and crying, I have peace. I have peace knowing that Jesus loves me as well as my family and friends. I am humbled and thankful that I am able by the Spirit’s power to love Jesus and my family and friends.

Lord God, confession is good for the soul! Lord God, thank You and praise You for this time with my mom! Lord God, thank You for the godly women that You place in Your peoples lives. Lord God, prepare my mom and I to say, “see you soon!” and prepare me for my next adventure in and with You. Lord God, thank You for this reader. Prepare this reader for their next adventure in and with You as well! Thank You Lord for Your encouragement and love toward me and allowing me to share my heart. Lord God, help Your people to live open, authentic lives in this dying and decaying world. Lord, encourage this reader to share with their loved ones how much they love them while there is still time. In Jesus’s Name I pray. Amen.

Published by

Blue Collar Theologian

My name is Mandy Sweigart-Quinn, I live in Lancaster, PA and I am a “Blue Collar Theologian.” I love Jesus! I am passionate about His Word (The Holy Bible)! I come alive when I can encourage others in their walk with Jesus (whether by writing or speaking). As a “Blue Collar Theologian” it is my aim to live/practice/work out my Christian hope with sincerity, authenticity and genuineness. As a “Blue Collar Theologian,” I strive to meet people right where they are (“Incarnational Theology”). I graduated in May 2019 from Capital Seminary and Graduate School with a Master's in Biblical Studies. I am a passionate, excited and enthusiastic person! I love flowers, sports and sunsets. Since January 2, 2018 I have had the privilege of being married to Nathan.

42 thoughts on “Bedtime Tears”

  1. Thank you Mandy for sharing your feelings with us. This has been a very hard for 2 years for so many. I have friends around the world you cannot attain permission to return to their home countries to spend time with their parents and siblings. It was especially hard during the Christmas holidays. They too remind us all to share our feelings, love for our family members. No day is a certainty and with the pandemic, we should all love on our relatives, siblings, friends and anyone one our life as well as those within our sphere of influence.

    I know you and your Mom will miss each other’s presence. Cherish the moments, they will soothe (comfort) both of you once your plane takes off.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your thoughts, Lisa! It grieves my heart how many people throughout the world are separated from their loved ones. I have a massive heart for shut-ins and I never want anyone to think or feel they are alone or abandoned. Praying for you right now, Lisa. Thank you again for taking the time to comment. 🤗🤗🧡🧡

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  2. Mandy, we will pray to GOD that He will sustain/protect/you both and that you and your mom will have a bond several times in the decades to come. It is good to convey one’s gratitude, love and being sorry (i.e. asking forgiveness) to loved ones early on. For our readers, if this opportunity was missed, there is an opportunity in Heaven. JESUS is the way to get there. What you fill now, is nostalgic for me. What is comforting is, have faith in GOD that there will be more opportunities of bonding here on 🌎. A blessed adventures my friend especially on your trip to the west (coast)!

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  3. Sending you a great big hug sweet Mandy. Praying blessings over you and your mum. I totally agree we must always make sure that our loved ones know that we love them.. Thank you!!
    Enjoy the rest of you trip and God keep you safe.❤️

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  4. I can well imagine your pain Mandy; I remember the day when me and my mum were separated by her Promotion to Glory. It hurt to say goodbye but it was a relief knowing that she was free from her dementia and with her Lord. May our Father God ease your pain and comfort you each day.

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  5. Mandy, you express your love for your mom so beautifully, no one reading this could doubt that you love her. – especially with the parenthetical admission that you do get irritated with her, and that you used to think that book was cheesy. 😏 Thanks for being real. I know I’m not the only reader who feels like she knows you. It’ll be so great to get to heaven and finally meet all our blogging friends we never saw face to face here! (I’ll have to introduce you to MY Mom, who’s there now. 💕)

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    1. Annie, thank you for this great encouragement!!!! I am such a mommy’s girl! I try VERY hard to write like I talk and now more than ever people need to see that Christians are real people! There is way too much Churchianity and Christianese. I am thankful for your authenticity (as if you would even know how to be anybody else!). I am SO excited for Heaven and all the people we will see! Lord God, save more people for Yourself! Love, hugs and blessings!!!!

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      1. I’m excited, too, and Amen! I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. If we could spend five minutes in heaven and five seconds in hell, we would live our lives here so differently. (With divine perspective.)
        Blessings on the rest of your trip – Go shine your light! 😊❤️

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  6. Thank you for being so open and sharing your heart. These two years have not been easy on many. A heartfelt reminder to share ourselves and the love we have with those we love.
    May you and your be blessed 🤗💙

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  7. (((( ❤️ 😢))))
    I feel the same way about my mom!
    I’ve read that book to my boys and have yet to make it to the end without 😭!
    We are so blessed to have a God grown relationship with our mom’s, Mandy! I want all 7 of my children to feel the same way about the relationship The Good Lord is building between them and I! I believe He will show them that! I know for sure my older 3 have grown to know that in their age ❤️

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    1. Praise God for our moms!!!! Praise God that you are intentional to have that kind of relationship with your children, that is such an encouragement to my soul!!!! You have a beautiful heart Beth and I thank God for it!!!! You are loved!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

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      1. Lord God, thank You for Beth!!!! What a beautiful heart You have given her to encourage Your people and for her love of pointing the lost to You! Lord God, fill Beth with Your overflowing joy!!! In Jesus’s Name we pray. Amen! Love you lots and lots!!!!

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  8. May be all have such a relationship with our mothers as you’ve described: “I praise God for the love that my mom has for me. I praise God for the opportunity to love my mom and to be her daughter.” (or son)

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  9. Just saw that I missed this post. Hugs, my sweet friend. Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with us and reminding us of the importance of sharing love. Your heart comes through in every word. It always does, whether here or in our chats. As you know, love has not been the easiest concept for me…but I am learning at the feet of a gracious ( and infinitely patient😏)heavenly Father. When I think of where I began and how far He has brought me and mine….wow. And you, my dear, have been a help in that growth since we first began interacting. For you demonstrate such kindness and genuine care. You remind me that, in Him, it CAN exist despite all my fears.And I can definitely relate to your feelings, by the way. Even with all our struggles, it’s always such a joy to see my parents and it is always so hard to have to take my leave. But, I try to remember that we are never far apart in Him. Love you dearly, friend .Thank you for being who yoy are. ❤

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    1. What a beautiful response that warms my heart more than you will know! I love and value you so very, very much! I am glad to be on this journey with you!!! I am glad for the love and encouragement we can share with each other!!!! 🤗🤗🤗😘😘😘🧡🧡🧡

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  10. Mandy, I just saw this post! Funny, I’ve often thought about posting about my mother. The image of her, 92 yrs old, 4’10, standing at the front door in her bathrobe waving to us as we drive away is almost unbearable.
    It wouldn’t be bad at all if she knew the Lord, assured of eternal life.
    Thank you for opening your heart and your dear mom to us. May yours and mine have a sure place in God’s Kingdom. ❤

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    1. I am praying for your mommy!!!! I can appreciate how gut wrenching that is!!!! I am sure she knows how much you love her and how much she means to you!!!! So, there’s an authentic Armenian restaurant near where Pastor Jimmy lives and I think we are going to go there, I thought of you right away!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡😘😘😘😘😻😻😻😻😻🐶🐶🐶🐶

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  11. Awww…that selfie makes me want to give you a hug! It’s really neat to hear about the relationship you have with your mom. May God watch over you two while you are apart! You really do love people well, Mandy! 💛

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